Post by Jonesy on Oct 2, 2013 11:58:19 GMT -5
Ok I had to do it. Love this shit. This is my thread dedicated to Carry rants. Love you Carry! <3
2 Oct 13, 01:01 AM
Fabio: HELLOOOOOOO
2 Oct 13, 02:10 AM
MrNonsensical: Bonkers.
2 Oct 13, 06:14 AM
Pirate: SHIT! I missed Fabio? That's terrible
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: I don't use periods at the end of my last sentence in a line on the chatbox
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: .
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: HA!
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: 7:16AM people
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: bright and fucking early
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: where the fuck is everyone?
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: Really, I have nowhere else to go on the internet
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: so. . .
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: I'm probably putting a bed together today
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: that's going to interfere with being lazy
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: probably even my entire first nap
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: BULLSHIT
2 Oct 13, 06:18 AM
Pirate: I had this dream once that I saw my dad shoot himself in the face
2 Oct 13, 06:18 AM
Pirate: That sucked
2 Oct 13, 06:18 AM
Pirate: last night I had a dream that Kyle called me fat like, 12 times
2 Oct 13, 06:19 AM
Pirate: that was almost as bad?
2 Oct 13, 06:19 AM
Pirate: WOOOW
2 Oct 13, 06:19 AM
Pirate: Today I learned that I need to get my priorities straight
2 Oct 13, 06:19 AM
Pirate: so I'm going to do homework today
2 Oct 13, 06:19 AM
Pirate: after second nap
2 Oct 13, 06:20 AM
Pirate: or first, whichever
2 Oct 13, 06:20 AM
Pirate: It was Kyle's day off yesterday and he actually wanted to do things together
2 Oct 13, 06:20 AM
Pirate: so I wasn't in the chatbox
2 Oct 13, 06:20 AM
Pirate: I mean, I fantasized about it the entire time, if that means anything
2 Oct 13, 06:20 AM
Pirate: that's not true
2 Oct 13, 06:22 AM
Pirate: Straight up no periods. Only exclamation marks and question marks at the end.
2 Oct 13, 06:22 AM
Pirate: Ooh did something right!
2 Oct 13, 06:22 AM
Pirate: So early for that. Sigh. That's sad. The only thing today, I'm sure
2 Oct 13, 06:23 AM
Pirate: Oh! He's arguing with the TV. I thought he was on the phone
2 Oct 13, 06:23 AM
Pirate:
2 Oct 13, 06:23 AM
Pirate: It happens
2 Oct 13, 06:23 AM
Pirate: The government shut down though, so I bet enough people are arguing with their TVs these days
2 Oct 13, 06:24 AM
Pirate: Oh, my dad. HE was arguing with the TV
2 Oct 13, 06:24 AM
Pirate: He'll be 56 on Saturday
2 Oct 13, 06:24 AM
Pirate: I still need to get a present
2 Oct 13, 06:24 AM
Pirate: it's difficult to shop for men
2 Oct 13, 06:24 AM
Pirate: well, not really because they all wear underwear until there are holes. Like, soooo many holes
2 Oct 13, 06:25 AM
Pirate: and socks go out that way too
2 Oct 13, 06:25 AM
Pirate: but is that really a good gift?
2 Oct 13, 06:25 AM
Pirate: Probably, if your mother isn't around to buy them for you
2 Oct 13, 06:25 AM
Pirate: Maybe it's just the men I know
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: So, my JOB is to purchase underwear for grown men who are far too stubborn? to do it themselves
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: I don't get what's so scary about buying underwear
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: they'll happily buy tampons.
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: so. . . ?
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: YOU GOT ME!
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: Okay, not HAPPILY
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: more like "UGH! FINE!"
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: but still
2 Oct 13, 06:27 AM
Pirate: Maybe it's the universe balancing out
2 Oct 13, 06:27 AM
Pirate: does that happen?
2 Oct 13, 06:27 AM
Pirate: I dunno. Probably not
2 Oct 13, 06:27 AM
Pirate: Everyone told me to go to the doctor for that thing under my eyes
2 Oct 13, 06:28 AM
Pirate: SORRY FOLKS! IT GOT SMALLER!
2 Oct 13, 06:28 AM
Pirate: Just a wicked zit, sadly. I thought I was over that for the past year or so
2 Oct 13, 06:28 AM
Pirate: GUESS NOT
2 Oct 13, 06:28 AM
Pirate: God dammit.
2 Oct 13, 06:43 AM
Pirate: Those dicks knocked over the lamp and spilled my coffee
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: I knew it was going to happen
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: well, not the lamp thing
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: Dad coming in to yell about the government
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: you'll have that
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: and it's not that I don't care
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: I would if I weren't horribly unintelligent on the matter
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: I just don't pay attention
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: to much of anything
2 Oct 13, 06:46 AM
Pirate: Like TIME
2 Oct 13, 06:46 AM
Pirate: Maybe this ends my morning rant?
2 Oct 13, 06:46 AM
Pirate: maybe not.
2 Oct 13, 06:47 AM
Pirate: Forgot it only takes a moment to get the kid out of bed
2 Oct 13, 06:47 AM
Pirate: people bitching all around me
2 Oct 13, 06:48 AM
Pirate: "FUCK THE USA" "I DON'T WANT TO WEAR PANTS" "DUDE CALLED OFF WORK!"
2 Oct 13, 06:48 AM
Pirate: I mean, we are products of our environments, folks
2 Oct 13, 06:48 AM
Pirate: so here I am, bitching to myself
2 Oct 13, 06:48 AM
Pirate: well, no one else wants to hear it
2 Oct 13, 06:48 AM
Pirate: I like pants. . .
2 Oct 13, 06:49 AM
Pirate: GOD DAMMIT HE FORGOT TO TURN OFF HIS ALARM!
2 Oct 13, 06:50 AM
Pirate: I just don't like leaving my couch, is all
2 Oct 13, 06:50 AM
Pirate: I retired early in life
2 Oct 13, 06:50 AM
Pirate: but temporarily
2 Oct 13, 06:50 AM
Pirate: ah, well. Time to reflect of 27 years of being a moron
2 Oct 13, 06:50 AM
Pirate: I mean, if you think about it, it couldn't have happened at a better time
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: because off all the stuffs I'll learn while I'm young
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: like, SLEEPING IS DA BEST!
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: THANKS, OBAMA!
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: That really didn't belong there
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: I don't know what I was thinking
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: more like. . . THE CATS KNOCKED OVER MY LAMP AND SPILLED MY COFFEE
2 Oct 13, 06:52 AM
Pirate: THANKS, OBAMA!
2 Oct 13, 06:52 AM
Pirate: God I wish I'd done that earlier, so much relevance at the tim e
2 Oct 13, 06:52 AM
Pirate: the "e" is silent, that's why there was a space?
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: Sleeping is the best! THANKS, KYLE!
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: That works, but without sarcasm, that was genuine
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: but if I say that to him, he just gets jealous and sad so. . . can't do that
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: It says there are two users online
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: I can only hope one is Fabio
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: But he's ignoring me
2 Oct 13, 06:54 AM
Pirate: Hell, I would too if I were Fabio
2 Oct 13, 06:54 AM
Pirate: That bitch is fabulous
2 Oct 13, 06:54 AM
Pirate: I'm soooo not worthy
2 Oct 13, 06:55 AM
Pirate: There is a very intimadating mosquito on my wall
2 Oct 13, 06:55 AM
Pirate: No, I mean that shit is SCARY
2 Oct 13, 06:55 AM
Pirate: easily the size of a mandarin orange
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: In diameter, not like, I don't know
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: ROUNDNEDD
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: NESS*
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: Circumference?
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: Errr. . .
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: VOLUME?
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: I'm bad at shapes
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: just like, what the hell is a hexagon?
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: DON'T ASK ME
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: My kid knows this. She told me last week.
2 Oct 13, 06:57 AM
Pirate: she's 21 years younger than me
2 Oct 13, 06:57 AM
Pirate: Maybe it's the mosquito
2 Oct 13, 06:57 AM
Pirate: I AM looking at that menacing thing every ten seconds
2 Oct 13, 06:57 AM
Pirate: his legs. . . they go out to about the size of a mandarin orange
2 Oct 13, 06:57 AM
Pirate: I'm short, I can't reach that shit
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: I thought to ask my dad to kill it
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: but he's been killing bugs for me for 27 years
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: so. . . I should probably man up and kill this thing
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: hardcore
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: throw a knife at it
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: I'd hit my target
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: I'm good at throwing things with accuracy, really
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: mostly fits
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: but knives would probably work
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: I had a Chinese throwing star once
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: oh the shits and giggles I had with that thing
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: Dad didn't like the holes in the wall
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: I don't even think he knew I had that thing. . .
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: these weird twins at school gave it to me
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: there was a cryptic message with it
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: like I was supposed to learn something having been in possession of it
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: YEAH. I LEARNED IT WAS FUN TO THROW
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: THANKS
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: Also that Dad hates little holes in the wall
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: Kill it with kindness
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: I don't think that approach works on bugs
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: oh how I wish
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: I could never be kind to a bug
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: we are enemies
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: It's sad because I blame them for the sins of their ancestors
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: like, it's not THIS bug that tortured me
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: it was the spiders, honestly
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: centipedes are terrbile
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: I've seen those silverfish things, those fuckers are FAST
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: like, cockroach fast
2 Oct 13, 07:03 AM
Pirate: I'm honestly not surprised that I have nothing better to do with my time at all
2 Oct 13, 07:03 AM
Pirate: not one bit
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: I need to make lunch in a minute so. . . this will end but if someone doesn't get into this GOD DAMNED BOX by the time I return. . . well I could resume this stupid thing
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: COULD?
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: Probably will
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: Minus the peanut butter
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: so. . . jelly sandwich
2 Oct 13, 07:05 AM
Pirate: I personally like non-fruit spreads
2 Oct 13, 07:05 AM
Pirate: not that vegimite shit my friend from AUS gave me
2 Oct 13, 07:05 AM
Pirate: shit tastes like kerosene
2 Oct 13, 07:05 AM
Pirate: or how I'd imagine kerosene would taste. Maybe with a hint of brown mustard.
2 Oct 13, 07:06 AM
Pirate: How can you eat that and not feel like you're PROBABLY getting cancer?
2 Oct 13, 07:06 AM
Pirate: Or being poisoned?
2 Oct 13, 07:06 AM
Pirate: Guess you're supposed to mix it with butter.
2 Oct 13, 07:06 AM
Pirate: YEAH, HERE'S SOME KEROSENE AND MUSTARD, BUT IT'S REAAAAAAAAAALLLY GOOD IF YOU THROW SOME BUTTER IN THERE!
2 Oct 13, 07:07 AM
Pirate: No
2 Oct 13, 07:08 AM
Pirate: I took a shot of 151. . . ONCE
2 Oct 13, 07:08 AM
Pirate: NEVER AGAIN
2 Oct 13, 07:08 AM
Pirate: and that's what vegemite taught me
2 Oct 13, 07:08 AM
Pirate: no wait, that's what 151 taught me
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: don't eat/drink shit that makes you feel like you're dying.
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: But cigarettes really are deadly
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: life doesn't make sense
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: back to life.
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: BE BACK LATER.
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: OH I'LL MISS YOU
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: I HATE YOU
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: WHOA
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: GOODBYE THEN, FUCKER!
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: Love you <3
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: oh good god
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: get the fuck outta here
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: BYE
2 Oct 13, 07:59 AM
Wen: Dork
2 Oct 13, 01:01 AM
Fabio: HELLOOOOOOO
2 Oct 13, 02:10 AM
MrNonsensical: Bonkers.
2 Oct 13, 06:14 AM
Pirate: SHIT! I missed Fabio? That's terrible
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: I don't use periods at the end of my last sentence in a line on the chatbox
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: .
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: HA!
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: 7:16AM people
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: bright and fucking early
2 Oct 13, 06:16 AM
Pirate: where the fuck is everyone?
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: Really, I have nowhere else to go on the internet
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: so. . .
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: I'm probably putting a bed together today
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: that's going to interfere with being lazy
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: probably even my entire first nap
2 Oct 13, 06:17 AM
Pirate: BULLSHIT
2 Oct 13, 06:18 AM
Pirate: I had this dream once that I saw my dad shoot himself in the face
2 Oct 13, 06:18 AM
Pirate: That sucked
2 Oct 13, 06:18 AM
Pirate: last night I had a dream that Kyle called me fat like, 12 times
2 Oct 13, 06:19 AM
Pirate: that was almost as bad?
2 Oct 13, 06:19 AM
Pirate: WOOOW
2 Oct 13, 06:19 AM
Pirate: Today I learned that I need to get my priorities straight
2 Oct 13, 06:19 AM
Pirate: so I'm going to do homework today
2 Oct 13, 06:19 AM
Pirate: after second nap
2 Oct 13, 06:20 AM
Pirate: or first, whichever
2 Oct 13, 06:20 AM
Pirate: It was Kyle's day off yesterday and he actually wanted to do things together
2 Oct 13, 06:20 AM
Pirate: so I wasn't in the chatbox
2 Oct 13, 06:20 AM
Pirate: I mean, I fantasized about it the entire time, if that means anything
2 Oct 13, 06:20 AM
Pirate: that's not true
2 Oct 13, 06:22 AM
Pirate: Straight up no periods. Only exclamation marks and question marks at the end.
2 Oct 13, 06:22 AM
Pirate: Ooh did something right!
2 Oct 13, 06:22 AM
Pirate: So early for that. Sigh. That's sad. The only thing today, I'm sure
2 Oct 13, 06:23 AM
Pirate: Oh! He's arguing with the TV. I thought he was on the phone
2 Oct 13, 06:23 AM
Pirate:
2 Oct 13, 06:23 AM
Pirate: It happens
2 Oct 13, 06:23 AM
Pirate: The government shut down though, so I bet enough people are arguing with their TVs these days
2 Oct 13, 06:24 AM
Pirate: Oh, my dad. HE was arguing with the TV
2 Oct 13, 06:24 AM
Pirate: He'll be 56 on Saturday
2 Oct 13, 06:24 AM
Pirate: I still need to get a present
2 Oct 13, 06:24 AM
Pirate: it's difficult to shop for men
2 Oct 13, 06:24 AM
Pirate: well, not really because they all wear underwear until there are holes. Like, soooo many holes
2 Oct 13, 06:25 AM
Pirate: and socks go out that way too
2 Oct 13, 06:25 AM
Pirate: but is that really a good gift?
2 Oct 13, 06:25 AM
Pirate: Probably, if your mother isn't around to buy them for you
2 Oct 13, 06:25 AM
Pirate: Maybe it's just the men I know
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: So, my JOB is to purchase underwear for grown men who are far too stubborn? to do it themselves
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: I don't get what's so scary about buying underwear
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: they'll happily buy tampons.
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: so. . . ?
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: YOU GOT ME!
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: Okay, not HAPPILY
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: more like "UGH! FINE!"
2 Oct 13, 06:26 AM
Pirate: but still
2 Oct 13, 06:27 AM
Pirate: Maybe it's the universe balancing out
2 Oct 13, 06:27 AM
Pirate: does that happen?
2 Oct 13, 06:27 AM
Pirate: I dunno. Probably not
2 Oct 13, 06:27 AM
Pirate: Everyone told me to go to the doctor for that thing under my eyes
2 Oct 13, 06:28 AM
Pirate: SORRY FOLKS! IT GOT SMALLER!
2 Oct 13, 06:28 AM
Pirate: Just a wicked zit, sadly. I thought I was over that for the past year or so
2 Oct 13, 06:28 AM
Pirate: GUESS NOT
2 Oct 13, 06:28 AM
Pirate: God dammit.
2 Oct 13, 06:43 AM
Pirate: Those dicks knocked over the lamp and spilled my coffee
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: I knew it was going to happen
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: well, not the lamp thing
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: Dad coming in to yell about the government
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: you'll have that
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: and it's not that I don't care
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: I would if I weren't horribly unintelligent on the matter
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: I just don't pay attention
2 Oct 13, 06:45 AM
Pirate: to much of anything
2 Oct 13, 06:46 AM
Pirate: Like TIME
2 Oct 13, 06:46 AM
Pirate: Maybe this ends my morning rant?
2 Oct 13, 06:46 AM
Pirate: maybe not.
2 Oct 13, 06:47 AM
Pirate: Forgot it only takes a moment to get the kid out of bed
2 Oct 13, 06:47 AM
Pirate: people bitching all around me
2 Oct 13, 06:48 AM
Pirate: "FUCK THE USA" "I DON'T WANT TO WEAR PANTS" "DUDE CALLED OFF WORK!"
2 Oct 13, 06:48 AM
Pirate: I mean, we are products of our environments, folks
2 Oct 13, 06:48 AM
Pirate: so here I am, bitching to myself
2 Oct 13, 06:48 AM
Pirate: well, no one else wants to hear it
2 Oct 13, 06:48 AM
Pirate: I like pants. . .
2 Oct 13, 06:49 AM
Pirate: GOD DAMMIT HE FORGOT TO TURN OFF HIS ALARM!
2 Oct 13, 06:50 AM
Pirate: I just don't like leaving my couch, is all
2 Oct 13, 06:50 AM
Pirate: I retired early in life
2 Oct 13, 06:50 AM
Pirate: but temporarily
2 Oct 13, 06:50 AM
Pirate: ah, well. Time to reflect of 27 years of being a moron
2 Oct 13, 06:50 AM
Pirate: I mean, if you think about it, it couldn't have happened at a better time
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: because off all the stuffs I'll learn while I'm young
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: like, SLEEPING IS DA BEST!
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: THANKS, OBAMA!
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: That really didn't belong there
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: I don't know what I was thinking
2 Oct 13, 06:51 AM
Pirate: more like. . . THE CATS KNOCKED OVER MY LAMP AND SPILLED MY COFFEE
2 Oct 13, 06:52 AM
Pirate: THANKS, OBAMA!
2 Oct 13, 06:52 AM
Pirate: God I wish I'd done that earlier, so much relevance at the tim e
2 Oct 13, 06:52 AM
Pirate: the "e" is silent, that's why there was a space?
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: Sleeping is the best! THANKS, KYLE!
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: That works, but without sarcasm, that was genuine
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: but if I say that to him, he just gets jealous and sad so. . . can't do that
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: It says there are two users online
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: I can only hope one is Fabio
2 Oct 13, 06:53 AM
Pirate: But he's ignoring me
2 Oct 13, 06:54 AM
Pirate: Hell, I would too if I were Fabio
2 Oct 13, 06:54 AM
Pirate: That bitch is fabulous
2 Oct 13, 06:54 AM
Pirate: I'm soooo not worthy
2 Oct 13, 06:55 AM
Pirate: There is a very intimadating mosquito on my wall
2 Oct 13, 06:55 AM
Pirate: No, I mean that shit is SCARY
2 Oct 13, 06:55 AM
Pirate: easily the size of a mandarin orange
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: In diameter, not like, I don't know
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: ROUNDNEDD
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: NESS*
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: Circumference?
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: Errr. . .
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: VOLUME?
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: I'm bad at shapes
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: just like, what the hell is a hexagon?
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: DON'T ASK ME
2 Oct 13, 06:56 AM
Pirate: My kid knows this. She told me last week.
2 Oct 13, 06:57 AM
Pirate: she's 21 years younger than me
2 Oct 13, 06:57 AM
Pirate: Maybe it's the mosquito
2 Oct 13, 06:57 AM
Pirate: I AM looking at that menacing thing every ten seconds
2 Oct 13, 06:57 AM
Pirate: his legs. . . they go out to about the size of a mandarin orange
2 Oct 13, 06:57 AM
Pirate: I'm short, I can't reach that shit
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: I thought to ask my dad to kill it
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: but he's been killing bugs for me for 27 years
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: so. . . I should probably man up and kill this thing
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: hardcore
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: throw a knife at it
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: I'd hit my target
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: I'm good at throwing things with accuracy, really
2 Oct 13, 06:58 AM
Pirate: mostly fits
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: but knives would probably work
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: I had a Chinese throwing star once
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: oh the shits and giggles I had with that thing
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: Dad didn't like the holes in the wall
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: I don't even think he knew I had that thing. . .
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: these weird twins at school gave it to me
2 Oct 13, 06:59 AM
Pirate: there was a cryptic message with it
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: like I was supposed to learn something having been in possession of it
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: YEAH. I LEARNED IT WAS FUN TO THROW
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: THANKS
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: Also that Dad hates little holes in the wall
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: Kill it with kindness
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: I don't think that approach works on bugs
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: oh how I wish
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: I could never be kind to a bug
2 Oct 13, 07:00 AM
Pirate: we are enemies
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: It's sad because I blame them for the sins of their ancestors
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: like, it's not THIS bug that tortured me
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: it was the spiders, honestly
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: centipedes are terrbile
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: I've seen those silverfish things, those fuckers are FAST
2 Oct 13, 07:02 AM
Pirate: like, cockroach fast
2 Oct 13, 07:03 AM
Pirate: I'm honestly not surprised that I have nothing better to do with my time at all
2 Oct 13, 07:03 AM
Pirate: not one bit
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: I need to make lunch in a minute so. . . this will end but if someone doesn't get into this GOD DAMNED BOX by the time I return. . . well I could resume this stupid thing
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: COULD?
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: Probably will
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: Minus the peanut butter
2 Oct 13, 07:04 AM
Pirate: so. . . jelly sandwich
2 Oct 13, 07:05 AM
Pirate: I personally like non-fruit spreads
2 Oct 13, 07:05 AM
Pirate: not that vegimite shit my friend from AUS gave me
2 Oct 13, 07:05 AM
Pirate: shit tastes like kerosene
2 Oct 13, 07:05 AM
Pirate: or how I'd imagine kerosene would taste. Maybe with a hint of brown mustard.
2 Oct 13, 07:06 AM
Pirate: How can you eat that and not feel like you're PROBABLY getting cancer?
2 Oct 13, 07:06 AM
Pirate: Or being poisoned?
2 Oct 13, 07:06 AM
Pirate: Guess you're supposed to mix it with butter.
2 Oct 13, 07:06 AM
Pirate: YEAH, HERE'S SOME KEROSENE AND MUSTARD, BUT IT'S REAAAAAAAAAALLLY GOOD IF YOU THROW SOME BUTTER IN THERE!
2 Oct 13, 07:07 AM
Pirate: No
2 Oct 13, 07:08 AM
Pirate: I took a shot of 151. . . ONCE
2 Oct 13, 07:08 AM
Pirate: NEVER AGAIN
2 Oct 13, 07:08 AM
Pirate: and that's what vegemite taught me
2 Oct 13, 07:08 AM
Pirate: no wait, that's what 151 taught me
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: don't eat/drink shit that makes you feel like you're dying.
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: But cigarettes really are deadly
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: life doesn't make sense
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: back to life.
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: BE BACK LATER.
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: OH I'LL MISS YOU
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: I HATE YOU
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: WHOA
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: GOODBYE THEN, FUCKER!
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: Love you <3
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: oh good god
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: get the fuck outta here
2 Oct 13, 07:09 AM
Pirate: BYE
2 Oct 13, 07:59 AM
Wen: Dork